Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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