I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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