Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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