I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we should paint friendship bongs
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