I heard we made out
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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