If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize