My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
