She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
