I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize