I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize