there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
