Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
