It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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