i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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