I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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