First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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