Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize