we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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