she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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