Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
