yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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