this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
