He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
