ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
