Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
