I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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