I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
