I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
