yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
