The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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