Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
