video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
