There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
