ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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