All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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