Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
