Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
