how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize