I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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