this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
