no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
