there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
