I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
