how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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