What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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