He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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