Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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