look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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