You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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