I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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