it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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