I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
