Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
