He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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