He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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