I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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