Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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