Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
